As part of my doctorate research project, I interviewed many people who had recovered from an eating disorder about their definition of recovery. What stood out to me was that people’s definition of recovery was very different to how it might be defined in more traditional terms.
A more traditional view of recovery is one of behavioural recovery. What I mean by this is that the eating disorder symptoms and behaviours are not happening anymore. For example, stopping purging or restricting or compulsively exercising or binge eating. In other words, you might no longer meet “criteria” for an eating disorder. You might even no longer have a strong drive to lose weight.
But some of the people I interviewed also talked about recovery being more than just behavioural and symptom based. They also talked about recovery being deeper than just about behaviours stopping. Recovery was also about reclaiming their sense of self, forming authentic relationships and trusting in themselves more.
For example, some people talked about feeling they truly knew who they were, what they wanted and what was important to them. For others, it was being able to socialize more and be more vulnerable in relationships. And for some it was being able to be present in their bodies.
I consider these descriptions of recovery to be about a healing recovery. Healing is having awareness of and compassion for parts of self and allowing these parts to co-exist. It is about understanding your body and having a deep sense of knowing yourself, not just viewing the external aspects of yourself (i.e your appearance). It is being able to make room for emotions and be able to share these with safe people. And it is about trusting your body more and feeling safe within your own body.
Both notions of recovery are important and a wonderful achievement. Both are worth striving for. However, it is helpful to know that there is a difference between both. There is also a difference in the work you must do to achieve healing recovery versus behavioural recovery.
You may not be ready for healing recovery yet but when you do, I hope you find it as liberating as both the people I interviewed did and also the amazing people I have supported in therapy have.
